DEAR FATHER | Christ died to save us through an act of unconditional love

There is no loss more painful than the death of a child. The older I get, I’m convinced that parenthood is the single most courageous vocation, because it demands huge amounts of trust, especially when a child suffers or dies. This is true whether we are speaking of an adult child or one that has not yet been born.

Especially in cases of miscarriage, the pain of the loss has been compounded at times by confusion over what happens to the soul of an unborn child who has died. In earlier centuries, due to the emphasis on baptism as a prerequisite for heaven, theologians struggled with the question of what happens to the soul of an unbaptized child. If God is merciful, how could He send an unborn child — or any other innocent person, for that matter — to hell if they were unbaptized through no fault of their own?

In the Middle Ages, most theologians proposed the concept of “limbo” as a solution. They argued that children who died before baptism went to a place of peace and joy similar to heaven, but without the beatific vision of seeing God face-to-face. It is important to note that limbo was never a doctrine of the Church, but, rather, a proposition for reconciling God’s justice with His mercy. While the idea provided some comfort to parents grieving the loss of a child, it was painful to consider the possibility of never being reunited with their son or daughter in heaven. Unfortunately, belief in limbo became commonplace and many priests and religious taught it as doctrine.

In the modern era, we have a deeper understanding of God’s salvific mercy. Jesus’ death and resurrection redeemed humanity, and certainly the normal means of receiving it is through baptism. The Vatican II document “Lumen Gentium” teaches that those in other religions, however, and even those who have not arrived at an explicit belief in God, can be saved by the grace of Christ by striving to do His will as it is known to them through their conscience, and if their lack of belief is through no fault of their own (14-16). If that is true for them, then it would certainly be true for an unbaptized child who dies in the womb. Christ died to save us through an act of unconditional love, and no one is excluded from heaven on a technicality. A papally-approved 2007 study by the International Theological Commission rejected the concept of limbo altogether, stating that it reflected an “unduly restrictive view of salvation.”

The funeral rite for children offers prayers for various circumstances, including for children who die before baptism. The open prayer beautifully states our faith in God’s mercy, and so I will conclude with it:

“God of all consolation, searcher of mind and heart, the faith of these parents is known to you. Comfort them with the knowledge that the child for whom they grieve is entrusted now to your loving care. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.”