Echoes of Love ministry at St. Margaret Mary Alacoque to host Naming and Commendation Jan. 24
When Jonathan and Ellie Warren welcomed their daughter Ava into the world, they knew her life would be brief.
Ava was born in 2023 with Trisomy 18, a rare genetic condition involving an extra chromosome and a limited life expectancy. In her 50 days of life, Ava was deeply loved by those who knew her.
Members of their parish, St. Margaret Mary Alacoque in south St. Louis County, walked alongside the Warrens, surrounding the family with prayer, presence and practical needs, such as meals, through Ava’s hospitalization and beyond.
Several years later, members of the parish’s pro-life committee approached the Warrens about forming a new ministry to support parishioners who have experienced a miscarriage or loss of a child in early infancy.
Echoes of Love will offer one-on-one and group support. Its first event will be a prayer service that includes the order of Naming and Commendation of an Infant Who Died Before Birth, to be held on Saturday, Jan. 24.
The planning committee reached out to Cincinnati-based Heaven’s Gain Ministries for basic training on how to approach families who have experienced a loss. The Catholic-based organization provides resources focused on pregnancy loss and infants who have died shortly after birth. Another resource was Red Bird Ministries, a Catholic grief support ministry for those who have experienced child loss of any age or circumstance.
Echoes of Love co-chair Mary Lee Barron said the parish wanted to provide specific outreach to fellow parishioners who have experienced the loss of a child. “When you have a miscarriage it’s often hidden,” she said. “I don’t think we as a society always deal well with the loss of babies.” With the backdrop of legalized abortion in the United States, “we tend to have a culture of death, and that spills over into other areas,” Barron said.
Beth Vordtriede is a licensed clinical social worker who will facilitate a monthly support group beginning in February. The ministry fills a need for anyone who is grieving and desires support in a faith-based context, and it’s a way to be the face of Christ to others, she said. “Just like the body of Christ, we come together under a common loss, but have unique experiences in their faith and grief journey that they can share with others,” Vordtriede said.
Following the Naming and Commendation prayer service, Echoes of Love will host an introductory meeting later this month to seek feedback from parishioners and share more about the available resources.
Most members of the planning committee have experienced the loss of a child, and those experiences will further enrich the ministry’s outreach, co-chair Karen Groppe said.
“Some have had early pregnancy loss, some later in pregnancy, some have lost children at birth, and there are some like Jon and Ellie who experienced loss in early infancy,” she said. “All of them offer different perspectives, but one of the things they they taught us at training is the length of the pregnancy does not affect the level of grief.”
The Warrens will be among those offering one-on-one support to individuals, including offering unique perspectives on the different ways in which men and women might grieve the loss of a child.
In the midst of Ava’s hospitalization and then after she died, Jonathan Warren said he felt he needed to focus on taking care of their other children and planning for the funeral and burial. “I couldn’t be a wreck like everyone else. I had to be calm and stoic, and that wasn’t easy,” he said. “We don’t look like we’re hurting compared to mom, but it doesn’t mean we’re not.”
He wants men to know that they might be hurting in different ways, and that’s OK. “I want to make sure they have someone who has their back, just the same as mothers,” he said.
Ellie Warren said it was a blessing to have the support of the parish community as they walked through the grief with them. When they were invited to be part of the ministry, they didn’t hesitate, she said.
“Anything we can do in Ava’s memory — we wanted to keep her memory alive and inspire other couples and share our journey with them,” she said. “We want them to see that faith is an important part from the beginning.”
