Why did the disciples seem to have such a hard time believing Jesus rose from the dead, even after all the miracles they witnessed?
All in all, I think that the disciples did pretty well in their responses to Jesus’ death and resurrection. While they didn’t exactly stay faithful through the crucifixion, they by and large accepted that Jesus had risen when He finally did appear to them and announced Himself. And I think that this willingness to accept this incredible fact is precisely because of the sights they had seen when He was alive. If a wise man or sage teacher had been put to death without these preceding events, then I think it would take far more than a single appearance to convince most people that he defeated death. In such a case, we would assume that such an event was a deception or hallucination. When Jesus returned and called them to faith, most disciples had an aha moment where they finally understood all that He had done before.
But it is definitely a good question why they still needed that aha moment and were not able to keep their faith through the events of the passion.
In my experience, faith depends far less on the events that happen to us and far more on how we understand these events. We might assume that if we witnessed a miracle that we would automatically have faith or be strengthened in our faith. Often enough that is not true, however. After all, even the Church uses atheist doctors for the purpose of confirming miracles. They are willing to verify that something miraculous happened but they do not accept (for whatever reason) that God did it.
Even in my own life, many times I have witnessed an event that I tell myself should absolutely confirm for myself the reality of God’s love and God’s presence. Sometimes as soon as the next day, however, I find myself forgetting that very same event or discounting it and reinterpreting its significance: “Maybe it was just a trick of the eyes or an example of wishful thinking on my part…” When that happens, I have to remind myself of the actual experience of the moment, rather than focusing on the changing feelings and ideas that have intervened since then. Faith requires a type of maintenance where we continually return to its sources to keep it alive — just as the Church does with its sacraments and the Scriptures.
Faith comes not from what happens to me, but from my acceptance that God’s message is true. This acceptance of God’s truth helps me interpret what happen to me. Miracles and other signs can help a person reach that point, but without faith they will not lead anyone to change their lives. The disciples did reach that point in the end, but they often took the same twisted paths to get there that we all do.
Father Chris Schroeder is parochial administrator of Christ the King Parish in University City and St. Joseph Parish in Clayton.
