John O’Leary’s survival from a fire as a child has led him on a path to inspire others
After surviving a near-death accident when he was 9 years old, John O’Leary wanted to fade into an ordinary way of life.
He was doing just fine with that for about 20 years, when one day at Mass a priest gave a homily about the gift of talents. As he walked down the aisle toward John and others in the back of church, the priest said:
“For those of you who feel as if life has passed you by and you have no talent, nothing to offer, listen to me: Your life is a precious, priceless gift. You’ve got one job. Say yes to being used for something good.”
John was working in construction at the time. He’s the first to acknowledge it was an odd career, given that he had lost most of his fingers in a fire that burned 100% of his body and gave him a 1% chance of survival. But in choosing that path, he was trying to prove to others that he was just like everybody else.
The day after hearing the priest’s homily, John received a phone call from a young girl who asked if he would give a talk to her Girl Scout troop about his survival from the fire. Up until that point, he had avoided talking about it. He covered his scars with long sleeves and sometimes masked with alcohol and humor. Why talk about the bad stuff?
In front of a small group of parents and three third graders, O’Leary delivered his first speech. He was convinced it was going to be a failure. But as he was leaving, a dad pulled him aside and asked if he would speak to his Rotary Club. Another person at that talk asked if John would speak to his Kiwanis group. Then a Chamber of Commerce extended an invitation.
Those ‘yeses’ eventually led to a life as a motivational speaker and an author. He’s given more than 2,700 speeches in front of millions of people all over the world. At each of his talks, John imparts themes from the same message the priest shared that day at Mass:
“You’re going to hear how terrific life is, and that God’s not done with you,” he told a group of veteran Marines last fall. “There’s more for you, but you gotta be bold enough to say yes.”
From ordinary to the extraordinary
The Catholic faith was an ordinary way of life for the O’Leary family.
John was the fourth of six kids. His father worked in real estate and his mother was a school teacher who took time off to raise the children. The family prayed before dinner and bedtime, went to Catholic schools and attended Mass every Sunday.
The O’Learys had never faced any sort of life event that would test their faith. No major illnesses. No deaths in the immediate family. Life was smooth sailing.
Then the unimaginable happened on Jan. 17, 1987. Playing with matches and gasoline resulted in a horrific accident at the age of 9 that burned John over 100 percent of his body. He was expected to die.
The night of the accident, members of St. Clement of Rome in Des Peres, where the family were parishioners, gathered at the church for a prayer service.
His father, Dennis, drove through seven inches of snow with the warning that his son might not be alive when he returned to the hospital. When Dennis arrived at the church, the lot was full, and he had to park in the fire lane. The congregation was standing room only.
Years later as an adult, John realized it was the moment the Holy Spirit came into what he described as a very difficult, tragic story. Through their prayers, the faith community saw that no matter what happened next, God was going to be present every step of the way.
“Throughout the entire five-and-a-half months in hospital and afterwards, the only thing that informed our next right step was the faith that led us through the darkest time in our life,” John said. “I knew as a child I wasn’t on my own. I knew I had God’s hand, I knew my parents were with me, and I knew all I had to do was fight.”
When Susan O’Leary saw her son in the emergency room after the accident, John asked her: “Am I going to die?”
She responded with a question: “Baby, do you want to die? It’s your choice, not mine.” John was incredulous and said of course he didn’t.
“Then you take the hand of God, you walk the journey, and you fight like you’ve never fought before,” she told him. “Dad and I will be with you every step of the way.”
Years later, Susan realized that it was the Holy Spirit that put those words into her heart. She knew her son needed the motivation to keep going. “Your reaction wants to be as encouraging as you can possibly be. But I knew I couldn’t be encouraging in that way.”
Personal heroes
Through the ordeal, the O’Learys saw how God’s hand empowered the community of people who supported them through John’s ordeal. Some friends moved out of their home and temporarily into a hotel so the O’Leary family would have a comfortable place to stay while their house was being reconstructed. Others donated blood and sat with the family in the hospital waiting room. Meals were made. Prayers were offered.
Some of those stories emerged in a movie about his life, “Soul On Fire,” which was released in theaters last fall. Other stories of faith came through those who were involved in the making of the film.
Last May, John brought his father to a private screening of “Soul On Fire,” just a few weeks before Dennis died at the age of 80. His father had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease when he was 48 years old, about five years after John’s accident, and had largely lost his ability to stand and speak toward the end of his life.
Dennis and Susan O’Leary had a cameo in the movie, appearing right behind the actors playing themselves at John’s wedding. The moment director Sean McNamara said “action” in the wedding scene, Dennis pulled himself up in the pew and stood up.
Dennis gave his review of the movie after the screening, what were some of the last words he would speak before he died: “What a gift.”
Go make a difference
John believes that God calls everyone to use their time and talents for something bigger than themselves. He and his wife, Beth, feel it’s important to impart that message with their four children, ages 13-19.
What informs that is Scripture in the morning, Mass during the week and on Sundays with the family at their parish, Holy Redeemer in Webster Groves, and prayer with the kids before bed. Just as he experienced as a child.
“We try to make faith not something we do on Sundays or holy days or Christmas and Easter, but it informs every single thing we do outside of church,” John said. “It was C.S. Lewis who talks about recognizing faith not just by what you see, but how it informs everything else you see by that light.”
Several years ago, the O’Learys were matched with a young boy through Big Brothers, Big Sisters. The family regularly spends time with him shooting baskets, going bowling or just hanging out at their house for a barbecue or making cookies.
The experience has been a grace for the O’Learys amid John’s busy schedule as a speaker and a demonstration of being present to one other. The simplicity of their outings leans into the idea that it doesn’t take much to love people. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there, John said.
“One of the things Catholics love to do is celebrate the fact — and now go work,” he said. “Go bring others forward. Go love the one in front of you. Go make a difference. Go bring light into a darkened world. And in doing so, not only have you changed, but so is the one you’re loving.”
Depending on the audience he’s speaking to, John doesn’t always have the opportunity to directly speak about faith. In those situations — whether executive leadership gatherings, sales and marketing groups or professional associations — he approaches his talks from a perspective of gratitude. He invites people in the audience to turn to one another and share something they’re grateful for.
“You hear the room light up, and I remind them that’s free but, but it’s something they have to choose,” he said. “I remind our audiences of that truth and the cool thing is, the people who are radically secular thank me for not being over the top on (faith), but they understand where I’m coming from. And the people who are believers recognize it — man, I want to thank you for leading with your faith.”
“And if you do it just right, they’ll come up to you and say, ‘I want to know more about the reason for hope in your life.’ And now you get to evangelize.”
