‘A more disciplined way of life’: Lay religious answer special vocational calling by living out orders’ charisms in their daily lives

Tara Sill spent decades wrestling with a call she wasn’t sure how to answer.

After getting to know Dominican sisters at her Catholic school, she started to think she may be called to the vowed religious life. Then, she met her future husband in high school and discerned a call to marriage.

“But I started to feel over the years that there was still something there, and I just couldn’t figure it out for years and years and years,” Sill said.

About five years ago, she received the missing puzzle piece in prayer: A call to the lay religious life with the Dominicans. She reached out to the Lay Dominicans’ Queen of the Most Holy Rosary fraternity based at St. Dominic Priory in St. Louis, who invited her to visit the group and see their way of life. It was obvious right away that this was where she belonged.

“I was seeking a deeper spiritual life. I’m very involved in my parish — very involved in ministry there — but I was seeking something even more,” said Sill, a parishioner at St. Clare of Assisi in O’Fallon, Illinois. “I didn’t understand what it was until I joined the Dominicans, but I was really seeking a more disciplined way of life. And I was looking for a group, for people who were also seeking something deeper.”

Sill is one of thousands of Catholics around the world who are part of lay religious groups for men and women to participate in the life of a religious order. (Some lay groups are known as “third orders;” the “first order” is for priests and “second order” for religious brothers and sisters.) Members are often called lay or secular members or oblates and live out the spirituality and charism of their orders in their daily lives in the world.

Lay religious make simple professions, not vows. Their commitment varies by order but typically includes praying Morning and Evening Prayer of the Liturgy of the Hours, attending daily Mass as often as possible and taking part in specific ministries of their orders, as well as participating in community gatherings for formation and fellowship.

Father Tom Condon, OP, prior of St. Dominic Priory, has served as the religious assistant for the Lay Dominicans chapter for about two and a half years. Lay third orders have been around for centuries, but many Catholics are unaware of them, he said.

It’s a blessing for the student brothers at the priory to witness the Lay Dominican community, he said. “While we’re different, we’re part of the same order; we were called to different lives, but we were all still called to be Dominicans.”

Lay and vowed religious Dominicans share in their order’s special calling to preach. Several years ago, Father Condon was on sabbatical in Massachusetts and had the opportunity to visit a group of Lay Dominicans who met regularly in a prison, as some members of the group were incarcerated. “One of the prisoners said, ‘You know, Father, there are a lot of people here who are searching for God and meaning in their lives. And they are people who you would have absolutely no access to, but we see them every day,’” he said.

In neighborhoods and communities all over the world, “people are trying to find God and trying to find meaning in their lives and connecting with people that they might work with, or who live next door to them, or they see every week playing pickleball…and they can come talk to them about their search for God,” Father Condon said.

For Sill, preaching comes through the way she lives her Dominican vocation at home, in her workplace and in her parish. Sill is a part-time registered nurse at SSM Health St. Mary’s Hospital, and she preaches the Gospel to her patients every day “in how I care for them, how I treat them and how I show compassion to them,” she said.

Sill is preparing to make her perpetual profession as a Lay Dominican in a few months, following a formation period of about five years — which can be a little longer or a little shorter for others, depending on their discernment.

The disciplined way of life takes true commitment, Sill said. But “where some might view that as just more requirements to have to meet on a daily basis, it really is a joyful way of life, and I have found so much joy.”

Kevin Santander is a newly professed member of the Secular Franciscans in the St. Anthony of Padua fraternity based at St. Anthony of Padua Parish in St. Louis.

Santander has been attending St. Anthony of Padua since his family moved just a block away during his childhood. The Franciscan friars who administer the parish influenced his faith and spirituality as he grew through adolescence and young adulthood, he said, including through a long illness and recovery.

Then, a couple years ago, a friend from the parish invited him to attend a Secular Franciscans meeting to learn more about the community.

“I like the Franciscan spirituality because of St. Francis and how he was in touch with nature. I really like nature—I love going on walks, just taking advantage of the beauty,” he said. “…That’s God right there, and all of that is His creation. That’s how I see God. I’m just so thankful to Him every time I get to smell a flower, I’m like, ‘thank you Lord, for this beautiful gift that you gave me.’”

St. Francis of Assisi founded the Third Order of St. Francis, also known as the Secular Franciscans, more than 800 years ago. Members fulfill a Rule of Life and follow Franciscan spirituality of peace, justice and care for creation and engage in particular outreach to the poor and marginalized.

Santander lives out the call to serve the poor by volunteering at the St. Anthony of Padua food pantry every Thursday and helping out on parish projects with the Men’s Club. The Secular Franciscans have also introduced him to new forms of prayer, and the ongoing formation continues to deepen his faith, he said.

“I see the world differently as a Secular Franciscan,” he said. “I appreciate things more.”

Bart Wall, a parishioner at Immacolata in Richmond Heights, is part of a new chapter of lay Benedictine Oblates located in the Archdiocese of St. Louis. The group is affiliated with Saint Meinrad Archabbey in Indiana.

The emphasis for Benedictines is on “ora et labora,” work and prayer, Wall said. As oblates, they pledge to practice daily prayer through the Liturgy of the Hours, Lectio Divina with the Scriptures and reading the Rule of St. Benedict. They are also encouraged to be active members of their parishes.

Having these set daily practices of prayer was new to Wall, he said. The lay oblate formation has also helped him more closely examine his own habits and relationship with God. “It’s really just boosted my spirituality and connection with the Church and really made me be much more conscientious about my faith on a daily basis, instead of — I would fall into that trap of, it’s just the thing you do on Sunday.”

As for the “labora” piece, Wall continues to practice law as an attorney.

“We need to have all these things in our life: the balance of prayer and holy reading, but also we need to go out and work and be useful members wherever we’re at, at home or at our real jobs,” Wall said. “And by doing those things, we’re also giving glory to God with the talents we’ve been given.”

Lay religious life

How do Catholics know if they are called to a lay religious vocation? The same way you discern other vocations: Come and see, advised Father Tom Condon.

Find more information on the Lay Dominicans and meetings at St. Louis Priory at stldominicanlaity.org.

Learn more about Secular Franciscans in the Archdiocese of St. Louis by visiting the website of the St. Clare Region at www.stclareregionofs.org.

Learn more about the Benedictine Oblates affiliated with Saint Meinrad Archabbey at saintmeinrad.org/oblates. Inquire about the St. Louis chapter by emailing oblates@saintmeinrad.edu