Columns/Opinions

DEAR FATHER | We discover real happiness when we pursue sacrificial love

I’ve heard that our three enemies are “the world, the flesh, and the devil.” The flesh and the devil make sense to me. What does it mean for the world to be our enemy?

Image of Father Charles Archer
Father Charles Archer

Happiness is not meant to be achieved, but received. The first sin occurred after Eve bit into the serpent’s lie that she had to grasp happiness for herself and could not trust God to make her happy. This primordial lie echoes loudly in our daily experience. Anytime we feel the urge, “I have to grasp for happiness,” it is a temptation to love the world rather than receiving happiness from God as Father. This temptation comes in many subtle forms, but here are the three most common lies I see that lead people into loving the world:

(1) “I am not enough.”

(2) “My identity and value comes through my family member’s achievements.”

(3) “I must consume social media, vacations, clothing, video games, TV shows, upscale food, drink, etc. to be happy.”

St. John offers a beautifully simple alternative in pursuing happiness: “If we love one another, God remains in us, and His love is brought to perfection in us” (1 John 4:12). We discover real happiness when we pursue sacrificial love in relationships. We are set free from the crippling question: “What would be entertaining or fun for me?” St. John Paul II would often repeat the timeless wisdom: “Man only finds himself through a sincere gift of self.” We become most truly ourselves, and happy, when we stop focusing on our own happiness. This understanding of happiness helps to overcome the “Catholic minimalism” mentality: “I give my 10% and go to Sunday Mass; the rest of my time and money I can use as I please.”

The world is not our friend. The goods of the world are meant to serve our higher calling — to enter into loving relationships and build the Kingdom in the true wealth of sacrificial love. I’ll leave you to ponder these hauntingly beautiful words of St. John Chrysostom: “Just as in the theatre, when evening falls and the audience departs, and the kings and generals go outside to remove the costumes of their roles, they are revealed to everyone thereafter appearing to be exactly what they are; so also now when death arrives and the theatre is dissolved, everyone puts off the masks of wealth or poverty and departs to the other world. When all are judged by their deeds alone, some are revealed truly wealth, others poor, some of high class, others of no account.”

Father Charlie Archer is associate pastor of St. Peter Parish in Kirkwood.